danse macabre

c'est la vieな日記



a letter to -

dear my dearest father in somewhere

hi dad,
how are you doing?
i can easily imagine your answer,'pretty good my dear',smiling.

first of all
i really appreciate hearing my deepest prayer.
thank you for saving my sister.
your beloved son is smiling now.
thank you,once again, i say.

can you see your new born grandchild from there?
though i haven't seen him yet
i am sure that he is beautiful.
(he has so cool name!)
because he is your grandchild.

it's been three years since you closed your eyes.

i don't know it's past so fast or so slowly.
one thing is sure.
we still miss you and always wishing you were somehow here,with us again.

but i believe you are always with us
and we are always with you forever.
we are the best family in the whole universe as i told you.
i still think so.

by the way,
do you remember my last letter?

i hope you, now, are living another life somewhere in this world.
if so,
i can meet you once again i'm sure.
i have never been spoken to by a three-year boy or girl
saying ' hi! nice to meet you, my lady!’

so i think you are still in heaven and rest in peace.
please take enough rest.

i offered you and god all the rest of my life.
and you saved her.
i accept any miserable destiny that comes to me.
i don't care how and when i die.
i am ready.

but one thing remains i worry.

you are in heaven now because you were like an angel.
(in fact i hate to use the word 'were' !)
but i cannot go there for my sins.
i will go to hell.

i won't be able to see you again
even if i'm dead.

that is why i hope you to live another life now.

re-birth is the only way to see you once again.

so if you finished taking enough rest,
please come back again
and get married to my mother again.
let me be your daughter again.
let’s laugh,cry,talk and argue together as we always did.
let’s go everywhere on your motorcycle as we always did.

if we can choose the next world,
let it be in england.
let’s go to oxford and stonehenge.

let the dream come true that never came true in this life.

you are driving your red motorcycle,
(new and bloody cool cbr must be released!)
of course, i am sitting behind of you.
and we are driving through the city of london or country road
with high speed!
sounds fascinating?
maybe my mother get angry,
saying ‘it’s too dangerous , you fool!’
as she always said.
sounds funny,doesn’t it?

let’s go to her majesty’s theatre together.
(that time, i won’t fail the time of the play's beginning!)

dreaming of that new life,
i still miss you.
but i must stay strong.

i promised you to guard your beloved wife.
i swear
i do.

i will be her guardian instead of you.

you don’t have to worry anything at all.
therefore,just rest in peace with a smile i pray.

also i am ready to say ‘ ah, hi,nice to meet you,too my dear!’
to a stranger who is far younger than i.
then let’s be friends.

until then,
until we see each other again,
bye for a little while.

your finest and eternal daughter







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